I’ve Been Punching Cattle, And Boy Are My Arms Tired!
As I’ve read Karbonkountymoos over time, K’s stories
of Montana life have intrigued me greatly, because my
area (Tampa, Florida) is quite unlike Carbon County.
Cows and horses are rarely seen roaming the streets
where I live, although it is not unheard of to see
wandering alligators or escaped pythons and monitor
lizards. Unlike K, I rarely see cowboy boots, saddles,
rodeos or ranches– and if I happen to see someone
wearing chaps, it just means that I’ve accidentally
wandered into a gay bar on Leather Night.
So I decided to broaden my horizons and visit K in
Reno Township! It was terribly exciting, and I made
sure to wear my most fashionable cowgirl outfit before
heading on out to help K on her daily rounds, which
frequently include buying spare parts, driving
tractors, baling hay, buying more spare parts,
catching horses and cattle punching.
Unfortunately, I misunderstood the term “cattle
punching”, which turned out to be rather a problem.
After a hearty breakfast of hardtack and coffee, I
volunteered to punch the cattle while K ran out for
spare parts. After dodging a few tumbleweeds and
saddling up Ol’Bessie, I organized all the cows and
started punching them, one after the other. It was
very sweaty work, and I think I sprained my wrist!
Later, when I grew tired, I resorted to light
slapping, then finally just making horrible faces at
them instead. Understandably, they were quite upset
over the whole business and stampeded in an alarming
manner, leaving nothing behind but a cloud of dust and
yards of broken fencing.
Luckily, K is used to running out to look for spare
parts, so the fence should be no problem. And now I
know that cattle punching just means moving cows
around, feeding them, and moving them around some
more. Sorry K! I hope you find them.
Later I tried driving the tractor to help with the hay
baling, but I accidentally ran over her pump after
being startled by a rattlesnake. Water was
everywhere, and then K had to go run out for spare
parts again! Good thing she has all that practice.
I tried grooming the horses too, but they don’t seem
to appreciate the benefits of exfoliation, facial
masques or pedicures and things like that. And waxing?
Forget about it! Plus, have you ever tried giving a
horse highlights? They refuse to stand still, and
they just GLARE at you with those long faces. So that
was a total wash too.
So I left Montana, a wiser but completely exhausted
young person, impressed with the huge amount of work
that K does each and every day. I certainly hope she
is appreciated. Thanks K! Sorry about the mess. You
can come and visit me in Florida!
* In the photo below, you can see me in my charming
cattle punching outfit, as I look for the missing
cows.
***********************
In case there’s any confusion -
this guest post was written by L of Random Speak.
I did punch a cow once, but she really deserved it.
Thanks for all the help, L!
Moos
May 16th, 2005 at 6:53 am
That was great! What a good way to start a Monday morning…I loved it.
May 16th, 2005 at 7:13 am
Funny! But one small correction, when you need those parts, they aren’t “spare” anymore! bonnie
May 16th, 2005 at 4:01 pm
ha haaa!
love it!
May 16th, 2005 at 4:51 pm
But where has L been in Florida. They punch more cows in that state than in all of Montana, right below Texas. And just who is that from the “Don’t shoot the girl” era of western films.
I like her sense of humor.
May 16th, 2005 at 5:34 pm
That was so funny, ha,ha,ha..
Punching cows, giving horses highlights..
May 16th, 2005 at 5:46 pm
you’re welcome
glad I could help :0
May 16th, 2005 at 5:58 pm
I thought punching cows was like punching tickets or paper-punching; I was trying to visualize the mechanism, and what kind of hole it left…
:-)
May 17th, 2005 at 3:24 pm
What a looker! Love the jodphurs!
May 17th, 2005 at 3:29 pm
I especially liked the grooming portion of the story. Imagine a horse not liking a good facial!
May 18th, 2005 at 8:32 am
Cute post!
May 18th, 2005 at 10:30 am
One day, a cattle farmer heard one of his cows bellowing out in the mud pit behind the barn. It sounded like she was in hard labor. He went out, and, sure enough, it was a breech.
He tried to turn the calf around, but it was too late — the legs were already coming out. All he could do was pull on the legs to assist in the birth.
This field was right next to the interstate, and a red corvette stopped, and a woman jumped out and said, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’
The farmer said, ‘Yes, please! Grab a leg and pull!’ So they both pulled, and they were able to get the calf out.
The farmer, very grateful, said, ‘Wait a minute while I run back and get my wallet — I owe you for this.’
‘Oh, no, I wouldn’t dream of accepting any recompense for this service. However, there is one question you can answer for me.’
‘Anything!’, the farmer said.
‘How fast was the little one going when it ran into the big one?’
GD
May 18th, 2005 at 11:04 pm
Great Stuff!!